"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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