I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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