This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?