last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.