If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately