I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.