today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.