LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
