he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
