She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
