One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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