hell yes lets make some ravioli
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize