Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
