How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
