On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
