Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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