You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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