Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
