I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
