GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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