i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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