Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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