Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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