what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
