dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?