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• (415): View more from California

  u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter

  (323): View more from California

  yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers

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