Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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(631): View more from New York

did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

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(251): View more from Alabama

He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

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(904): View more from Florida

i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.

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(913): View more from Kansas

she is the kim kardashian of front butts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here

(912): View more from Georgia

I don't know if I should laugh or punch you

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