What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
