I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.