You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice