new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's blow job season.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
