Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
