My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A+ Viking dick
false alarm, still single
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
