oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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