I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
