i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
