I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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