if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
