i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
