Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
