i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
