I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize