Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And then he peed in my hair
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