Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
