True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
