nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
