When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
