I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
