You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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