you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
