so explain again why im purple
no
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
