Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
