hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize