Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
