Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
