it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize