dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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