i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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