So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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