You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
