i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
