i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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