are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
