Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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