it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My vagina just clenched in fear
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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