i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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