I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
