dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
