bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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