Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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